While I was watching “The Little Shop of Horrors” at Derby Dinner Playhouse on Thursday I sat across from a couple who had been together for 42 years and it was the cutest thing ever.
They were so sweet to each other and knew so much about the other it made me sick. In a weird way, though, it gave me hope.
I play this real big game that says I do not believe in love and I do not want a relationship – ever.
However, finding love is exactly that — a game. I do want a man I can call when I have had a rough day and, while I do not need one to be happy, the company of someone I care about deeply is nice when I decide to watch a sappy chick flick and cry like a baby.
I have, and probably will, do the hook-up thing again since most of this generation seems to be doing that instead of dating the traditional way.
However —and call me old-fashioned— but, what happened to going out on a date before looking down someone’s pants?
Is chivalry really dead? And do hook ups give us the same satisfaction as settling down with someone?
Maybe for someone out there it does, but honestly a hook up is only sex and sex means nothing. I want something meaningful, no matter how much I spew about how I don’t need someone in my life.
I am not going to give up casual sex at this point because I am single and, well, it can be really fun.
Though I have this problem that when I see a cute guy—whether he is into me or not— I tend to shy away from talking to him for this reason or that.
Maybe part of that is because I spent so much time in the closet and I don’t know how to approach someone because I was never into women the same way my friends were, and I did not have any friends that were gay until very recently.
I have come out of my shell a little bit, but it is time to stop being so shy around cuties and just walk up and talk to them. If I want to find Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now, I need to get out there and test the waters.
For example, there is this really cute waiter at an Applebee’s nearby, and I am talking drop-dead gorgeous, but because I tend to get this stupid shyness effect, I bottle up and don’t say much other than typical waiter-to-customer expressions.
After a few drinks I complimented him once and even left him my number, but there could be a number of reasons why he did not respond to them that we are not going into right now.
I will be going out to the club on Saturday night like I have the past few weeks, and I swear I am going to talk to at least one guy I find attractive, and who knows where it will go.
My favorite artist, Lady Gaga said “love is like a brick, you can build a house with it, or sink a dead body.”
Something beautiful can come out of a hook up, however, it is probably not going to happen because we are only allowing ourselves to get close on a physical level — and I long for way more than that.
In order to find what we want in life we have to break away from society and get out of the norm and take risks— none of us will go anywhere if we’re too concerned with what others think.
So this is my goodbye to being shy and getting around to finding the man of my dreams — or at least a decent one interested in more than just what is in my pants.
So I am going to play the game, harder than I have in the past and let fear out the window.
By BRYAN JONES