My Significant Other Said Yes, Now What?

The Hurdles of Planning a Wedding While Enrolled in School

Joshua Roy and Candace Leilani

The ring has been purchased. The night has been carefully planned. As the night culminates towards the grand finale, the moment of truth arrives. A small box is uncovered and opened. The gasp that follows is the only sound heard as conversations die abruptly and heads turn to watch the magical moment take place in front of them.  The simple words “Yes! Of course!” are swallowed up by cheers and congratulations of strangers. The night may be over, but the journey has just begun. There is still much preparation until the next magical words, “I do” are spoken at the altar.

IU Southeast has many couples currently preparing for a ceremony. To each couple, planning a wedding has different challenges and triumphs; finishing up a college degree while picking out the perfect wedding day is a mixed bag of emotions, responsibilities, and maintaining a close relationship can become difficult.  

Different parts of the wedding can bring about various emotions. Trying to pick out a venue can bring out some excitement as the couple makes the first move towards their big day. Figuring out where the centerpieces should be placed or where the “Save The Date” announcements should be sent seems to bring out a sense of frustration.  It could be both people getting married either want two dissimilar things or that one does not care as much as the other.

Knowing there is only so much time to plan the day one marries their best friend, it may seem like the small things that would cause someone to become overwhelmed. The floral shop doesn’t carry the desired flower in the bouquets or the invitations do not have the “perfect” picture of the happy couple. Focusing on one thing until one is almost micromanaging it is not healthy. Frustration, stress and emotional breakdowns can ensue.

With this in mind, planning a wedding cannot be put on the shoulders of only one person. The couple needs to work together by communicating their desires with each other and finding a way to compromise on the unwanted things.

Addison Schneider, a biology senior, sees planning her wedding a little differently. Schneider is not as worried about it while in college because she is planning her wedding to take place after graduation. With her and her fiancé Kyle Jones making decisions for their wedding, she is not straining to make decisions in a timely manner or having everything bought beforehand.

“I wouldn’t think it’s any more than the normal stress of wedding planning. Just figuring out how to get used to finding what we want and how to do it,” Schneider said.

Each one needs to be there for the other in the relationship. Communication between the two is prevalent and necessary for success. Maria Dunn, an English literature and Spanish major, stated how her significant other keeps her overwhelming stress levels at bay.

“He tells me that I need to take a chill pill and to take it day to day… he has seen me get overwhelmed,” said Dunn.

Even the proposal is stressful to plan. Logan Buchanan, a business finance sophomore and fiancé of Maria Dunn, explained that he became less stressed after he proposed to Dunn as he had planned for that special moment for a while.

After the initial shock of the proposal has worn off, the time has come to plan out every minute detail of the “big day”. The responsibility falls on both betrothed; however, each couple handles sharing the responsibility differently. When Destiney Phillips, a political science and history sophomore, talked about how she and her fiance, Zach Metz, split the responsibility, she, stated, “Zach is really into the wedding idea; He works full time, but he meets with someone if necessary and tells them what I want when I can’t meet with them.”

Phillips continued by giving a small piece of advice to other couples planning weddings during college, “Make time for school during the week and devote one day on the weekend to wedding plan with your significant other or family. Find a schedule that works for you and have fun. It’s your wedding.”

When asked about finding time to make plans, Dunn stated, “Especially since it is almost finals, I have responsibilities that come first. I have to balance my time. We each work a set schedule of 25-30 hours a week.”

Jones, worries more about the financial side of his wedding with Schneider. His concerns focus on “how expensive everything will be and whether or not we can afford the wedding right now.”

Another key part to any successful plan is keeping the relationship between the couple strong.

Metz talked about how him and his fiance, Philips, have strengthened their relationship during the stressful time.

“We’ve gotten a whole lot closer since we know no one is going anywhere,” Metz said. “I get a little stressed out talking about it, so I take a step back and realize she’s still in school.”

Even while being stressed, Metz also saw how the planning was adversely affecting Phillips. He said, “We pushed it [the wedding] back; I want her to focus more on school. She’s taking 21 credit hours and I see how much she’s struggling, it eases off some of the stress.”

Buchanan understands the amount of work that falls on his bride-to-be, Dunn, when he stated, “She’s definitely doing 90% of the work, but we’re just in the first stages”.

It is important to understand when a significant other is struggling and be willing to help however possible.  

It should not matter what obstacles the couple has; there’s plenty of excitement to add to the chaotic time. As Phillips says about her significant other, Metz, “I’m excited about marrying my best friend.”