While I’m at school, I often listen to what people are saying in my classes or in the hallways.
More than anything else, I hear people complaining.
Usually, I hear how their coursework is too heavy, how they don’t have enough time, why a professor sucks, who is being a jerk or why something else sucks.
Do you see a pattern?
I see one, and it makes me believe people like to complain. If that’s how they roll, fine.
I have no problems as long as they keep it to themselves.
However, I do have a problem when they start forcing their problems on others.
It happens all the time. Misery is a social disease, and it spreads quickly.
By baby-sitting my two nieces, I’ve learned people start to complain at an early age in hopes of getting something out of it.
Are people desperately looking for sympathy? I can’t answer that for sure, but I do think it’s a factor.
It’s possible the whiners out there feel their lives are out of control, and they are giving out a desperate cry for help.
All right, but when someone complains about how they never have enough time, I ask them to consider the scheduling choices they make.
I get annoyed when people talk about how they’re going to a party later or hanging out with friends, but still complaining about how they have no free time.
Others choose to spend any free time they have to go online and talk about how they never have enough time.
You can see it for yourself. Go online to a social networking site like Facebook or Twitter.
You probably couldn’t tell me there are no status updates or Tweets expressing complaints or worries about their schedule. Seriously, look for yourself.
I’m starting to think some people just get online to complain about, well, anything they can think of.
For instance, one of my Facebook friends has never once put up a positive status update unless school was canceled. Her updates focus on her “long day” or her being tired.
It’s always because of school or work. My favorite status update from her is “A piece of my soul died,” because she had a difficult exam.
Yeah, no one else bought that, either.
For what it’s worth, exams don’t hurt anyone, so long as you don’t count paper cuts.
It’s not just that one friend, either.
Almost all of them, at some point, complain about how something is wrong. Yes, indeed we all have “SO much to do!”
Oh boohoo.
Ask yourself how bad your life actually is.
Have you lost your home?
Have you lost your job? Are you starving?
Are you or a loved one physically suffering?
Do you live in constant fear?
If you answered no to all of those, you’ll be fine.
I’m not convinced most of us truly realize how good we have it.
Sure, I have my own problems, but at least I can say I am well-fed and I can do most of what I want without the fear of being harmed.
Not everyone can say that, even in this country.
So, it makes all of these complaints seem pathetic and unnecessary.
More than any other, there is one whiney complaint that is exaggerated, and that’s love, or the lack of love.
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve talked to someone about their poor, broken heart.
I understand how much it hurts to be rejected and how good it can feel to talk it out with friends, but whining to strangers in class doesn’t help.
All whining does is make you feel better until you get sick of listening to yourself and finally move on.
Asking for another person’s perspective is great, but saying it just so someone else knows you’re in pain is weak.
Here’s some relationship advice: If they’re a jerk, they didn’t deserve you anyway.
If you can’t find that special someone, you just haven’t met them at this point in your life.
Or maybe you’re the problem.
If so, don’t complain about it and drag everyone else down. It would be better to realize something in your life should change for the better.
If someone doesn’t like you or your choices, find constructive criticism in their words. If they’re just saying it to antagonize you, ignore them.
They aren’t doing you any favors by putting you down.
Maybe it’s because people have trouble controlling their emotions.
I’ll give you an example.
A friend called me one time and she was crying.
I asked her what was wrong, and she said her hair dye wasn’t as bright as she wanted it to be for the first day of class.
She wanted to make a stronger impression.
I am not making this up.
I couldn’t think of a more silly reason to get upset.
In my mind, I wanted to tell her to get over it, but I didn’t want to risk having slashed tires that weekend.
Another friend, who is going to another university, got upset because he didn’t get accepted into the fraternity he wanted.
He kept going on and on about it, complaining about how they’ll miss out on him.
He’ll have to find another way to get laid.
I guess what I’m saying is not to let other people get to you.
Just because they complain about how much life sucks doesn’t mean you have to let your life get worse along with theirs.
Don’t blame others for your shortcomings, and accept life sometimes doesn’t go as planned.
Taking new paths is part of it.
If I haven’t convinced you not to whine yet, I have a final piece of advice.
You can’t always get what you want, but turns out if you try, sometimes, you get what you need.
By JOSEPH DEVER
Editor
jwdever@ius.edu