On March 18, 2006, my life changed in a flash when I crashed the car I was driving, and my friend didn’t survive the aftermath.
I won’t get into the specific details, but just know I was solely responsible, and the pain it caused then and still causes today is a burden I will carry with myself forever.
But I want my final column, my last footprint in the pages of this newspaper, to be about optimism, perseverance and the aspiration to move forward.
I notice suffering on an everyday basis. I notice it on my drive to school when I see a homeless man asking for change.
I notice it when I see a single mother struggling to perform odd jobs to make ends meet, and, more personally, I saw it in my grandfather’s eyes as he spent the last few weeks of his life.
But don’t discard the suffering you endure. Each hardship we undergo carves us into stronger individuals.
Everyone is familiar with the Nietzche quote, “What does not kill me makes me stronger,” but after reading Dostoyevski’s passage, “There is only one thing I dread — not to be worthy of my sufferings,” I became truly inspired.
I wasn’t going to let the tragic mistakes of my past stop me from pushing onward.
So, I trudged forward. I set outlandish goals for myself, stayed focused and remained determined to meet them.
I succeeded with some of those goals and failed miserably with others.
But I tried my hardest.
When I returned to IU Southeast, I used to be dropped off by my parents at 7:30 a.m., ask my professors to sign court documents verifying I was in class, return to a detention facility that night and get up to do it all again the next day.
Was it difficult? Certainly. Was it embarrassing? Absolutely. But those small burdens were mere particles in contrast to the amount of suffering I’d undergone before and hardly compare to what is going on all over the world.
Though we can face hurdles in our life on our own, it’s still critical to seek guidance from strong people around you.
Anyone close to me knows I look up to my father and grandfather, but if it weren’t for professors like Jim St. Clair, professor of journalism, and Ron Allman, associate professor of journalism, I can confidently say I would not be writing these words.
These two professors, along with a few others, such as Greg Gapsis, adjunct professor of journalism, and Leigh Viner, senior lecturer of philosophy, helped me set my academic pursuits higher. They also encouraged me to get my bachelor’s degree.
Each of those professors pushed me academically and helped me become something I’d never thought possible — a respectable student.
I’m not sure what lies ahead of me.
After some of the painful events I’ve put the family of a friend, my own family and myself through, I know I will always have motivation to keep going.
I’ll set more goals for the future, and I will surely fail to meet many of them, but I’ll be able to look back and be thankful for experience and know I was worthy of the suffering.
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By MATT CHINN
Website Editor
mchinn@imail.iu.edu