I know what some people are thinking, but this is not an article from Cosmopolitan magazine singing the praises of any particular sexual positions.

No sir, not even if they wanted it to be.

Instead, I want to talk about how to take a stand for a cause.

So, what is the “missionary position?” I would argue that it is the role of a listener.

Whether an individual is strongly for or against a certain religion, political idea, eating habit, ethical philosophy, lifestyle or even brand of soda, how can we conduct an adult discussion about these things?

It seems like discussions about sensitive topics have become more emotional and polarized during these past few years.

This polarization is creating a roadblock in our current politics, education, commerce and social interaction.

It often seems that everyone is so busy being right that we have no time to get anything done or reach out to each other.

Of course, the answer is not to simply throw away all of the controversial topics and our convictions for the sake of a stormy peace.
What is the answer then? When people want to be standard-bearers for a certain cause or a missionary, as some would call it, what role should be taken in a conversation?

When I find myself talking about issues that matter to me, I have a tendency to act like a know-it-all.

My passion – if left unchecked – can come across as condescending at best or offensive at worst. I have been trying to figure out how to change.

During a cold rainy day in Galway, Ireland I found myself arguing with an Irishman about Catholicism. However, I began to understand what I needed to change.

My trip to Ireland caused the wheels in my head to start turning and compelled me to begin a search for a solution to this argumentative arrogance.

If there is someone who is passionate and knowledgeable about a topic, it may appear counterproductive to take an active listening role in a conversation about it. Why all the research just to ask someone else a bunch of questions?

I humbly offer several reasons.

When asking questions, instead of shoving opinions down someone’s throat, welcome a more sensible and open discussion.

Also, leave the lectures for the professors.

Most students want to have intelligent conversations, and they want to be heard just as much as someone else.

Individuals need to listen to each other’s comments closely and pick up reasons for disagreement. This way, the arguments made in favor of certain ideas can be tailored to the needs of that discussion.

Intelligent responses can be offered that are meaningful to that person, instead of reciting ideas in ways that resonate subjectively.

Even if they don’t convince the other person to take their side, the importance is the knowledge gained from an honest discussion.

Some of the ideas or concerns people bring up may challenge certain beliefs in a way they haven’t been challenged before.

Chances are the conversation will produce a more balanced view.

Let’s be honest, if people listen for just a second instead of regurgitating ideas at a rapid fire pace, they will be a much less annoying person.

Interpersonal communication textbooks have whole chapters devoted to the art of listening for a reason.

It’s humbling, it’s hard and it’s worth it.

From my experience, it works. By listening respectfully and thoughtfully to someone else’s thoughts, chances are they will also listen back.

If people want their opinions to be heard, take a second to listen to someone else’s voice. Chances are it will change everyone’s life.

Students need to try and actively attend to the thoughts and opinions of others.

The aim should be to open minds to as many new and old ideas as possible. That way, students can venture into the real world with more than just a piece of paper.

They will have minds that are supple and ready for action and know how to hold effective and uplifting conversations about difficult topics.

This current generation needs to be one composed of leaders who know how to  listen, reason and respond to tough topics.  If we can become those leaders, I am confident our nation will reach its full potential.

By MICHELE HOP

Profiles Editor

mhop@ius.edu