After a long hiatus, I’m dabbling in the dating scene again.

I dodged society’s pressures by not getting married in my 20s and gave myself a few years of growth. I replaced my second half, aside from a few extra pounds, with school.

I watched my friends get married during and after high school, pop out a couple of children and get the two bedroom house on Smith Street all before 30.

There is no need for this. I don’t want to sound bitter because I know any one of my hooked-up friends will tell me they are happy, and I believe they are.

I just wished our small town subculture would support more options for women after high school. It doesn’t even have to be college, just some time of self-discovery which can potentially strengthen their future relationships.

There needs to be more emphasis on women finding a road for them that may intersect with their future “beau” later in life.

In the article “More Americans Waiting Longer to Marry” in USA Today, research by sociologist Paul Amato of Pennsylvania State University for the book he co-wrote, “Alone Together: How Marriage in America Is Changing,” found benefits to marrying older.

“We found that the delay in marriage was actually a good thing, and it actually improved the average marital quality by a fair amount,” he said. “Older marriages — 30s vs. 20s — were more cohesive in the sense they did things more often together as a couple. And couples who married at older ages were less likely to report thinking about divorce or that their marriage was in trouble.”

Researchers say divorce rates are down for the better-educated. Those with college degrees marry later, have better jobs and more income.

But an analysis of 2006 Census data by the American Council on Education found only 35 percent of those ages 25 to 29 have an associate’s degree or higher.

It’s hard to find out what someone thoroughly enjoys if one doesn’t know what they enjoy first. This can refer to any aspect of the relationship.

So many of my friends have jumped into relationships because they were dependent on the other for their happiness and replacing a loneliness void, which led to painful break-ups and divorce.

Other friends are still in bad relationships because they feel they have no choice but to stay with the other for financial reasons, or so they claim.

My couple-year hiatus resulted from a former love’s text message of, “I want to date other people” followed by an immediate new relationship a few days later.

I was so painfully sick I began reading and writing to escape the pain and preoccupy the idle mind. This time for myself laid the foundation for my career and created a metamorphosis for a new self-image.

My old self-image was why I became attached to such losers, and my new self-image helped me develop a passion for reporting and writing.

I’m not saying this is the remedy for staying out of bad relationships, but research shows taking a breather from dating might help the viability of relationships and lessen those insecurities.

By LEAH TATE

Features Editor

lmtate@umail.iu.edu